This essay gives strong examples of police brutality against people of color. Steps for revision:-Focus more clearly on the laws or policies that facilitate police brutality, and the policies that could solve this problem.The essay gets to specific policies to prevent police brutality on pg. 6. This should happen much sooner, and the policies should be discussed in more detail. In the revised essay, a section might focus on training, another on accountability, and another on prevention (through body cameras or other means you’ve found through your research.)The last section, with discussion of changing how grand juries are impaneled, changes to hiring procedures, and training, is really where the essay could start. The essay could be restructured, starting with the statistics and examples about police brutality targeting Black Americans, and then moving into specific and evidence-based discussion of the policies that could eradicate this problem.See comment bubbles for additional edits. Looking forward to the final draft!(This is the feedback my professor gave me from B-) i attached
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